Mathematics Of The Christian Faith (by Sogree) Victor Gijsbers (6-00)

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Mathematics Of The
Christian Faith (by Sogree)
Victor Gijsbers

From: “Gijsbers V.A.”
To: “’Positive Atheism’”
Subject: Mathematics of the Christian faith
Date: Thursday, June 08, 2000

    • 12 billion years ago god created the Universe
    • 5 billion years ago he started with our Earth
    • 3 million years ago he started with humankind
    • 150,000 years ago he started with the current version of humankind
    • 5,000 years ago he revealed himself to humankind (so they say)
    • And for only 2,000 years he has been able to “enjoy” Christian people

    • On a timescale of the Universe (100 percent) the Earth has existed for 42 percent of the time
    • Apeman existed since 0.025 percent of the time
    • Humankind itself has existed for 0.00125 percent of the time
    • The Christian faith has existed for 0.000042 percent of the time (rounded upwards)
    • The time god has been able to enjoy Christian people is 0.000017 percent (rouded upwards).

Thus, god has, for 99,999982 percent of time (rounded downwards = 11,999,997,960 years), been bored, has done nothing. He has been waiting for us, only to leave us behind “alone” once again. Why? For eating an apple, that’s why! I know time is nothing to God, but this is preposterous.

Sogree,
Tweakers Discussion Forum,
Topic: Does god exist?,
Translated from Dutch by Victor Gijsbers

This piece was edited on 1 August 2004 by the original author to correct an error: what now reads “11,999,997,960” originally read “1,199,999,784,000” — a trifle long for the Universe to have existed, don’t you think?

Greetings,
Victor Gijsbers

Visit me:
http://www.phys.uu.nl/~gijsbers

“The Lord slew Onan, and to this day the Christian world
    cannot understand why he stopped with Onan, instead of
    slaying all the inhabitants for three hundred miles around —
    they being innocent of offense, and therefore the very ones
    he would usually slay. For that had always been his idea of
    fair dealing. If he had had a motto, it would have read, ‘Let
    no innocent person escape.’”
            — Mark Twain, Letters From The Earth, Letter X

“The church says the earth is flat, but I know that it is round,
    for I have seen the shadow on the moon, and I have more
    faith in a shadow than in the church.”
            — Magellan

“The fact that a believer is happier than a sceptic is no more
    to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than
    a sober one. The happiness of credulity is a cheap and
    dangerous quality.”
            — George Bernard Shaw

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