I Am The One For Whom
All Have Been Waiting
©Kevin (Gentle) Clay (Mortal) Gardner
From: "Kevin Gardner"
To: "Positive Atheism" <editor@positiveatheism.org>
Sent: September 12, 2002 4:24 PM
Subject: Proof of God
I can prove that God exists, but the ignorant (including so-called church leaders) refuse to listen. They want it easy, but God's way is not the easy one. When will they learn. They must do as God tells them before they can ever hope to be saved.
It is the time. I am the "Penultimate Sleeper" and the "Messenger of Peace". Even though I was born a mortal man, I know that I am much more and, as I've already stated. I can prove it to those who will listen. I can't prove anything to people who continually interrupt me.
I am not kidding and I am not mad. I saw the Light of God without having to die and come back to life, because it was foretold. My path was set before I was ever born.
God is not happy.
I am Kevin (Gentle) Clay (Mortal) Gardner. I was born and raised in a place called Peace and Judah. I have the power of prophecy and I know that an asteroid is headed straight for us. I am the only one who knows how to stop this mountain from hitting us, but the people in control are brainwashed. The power mad have had their chance. For two thousand years, they've saw to destroy each other. They've sought to destroy this world, which is a gift from God. God never wanted to be a baby-sitter.
Satan finds concealment behind a human mask, Using people to keep me from completing my task, If people do not listen to me and heed the things I say, They'll suffer for all eternity, there will be Hell to pay.
God to Humanity
I am the One for whom all have been waiting, The Lord of all lords, now finally come to this earth,
So open your hearts and bare your souls in celebrating, The greatest gift of all, the event of the Holy Son's birth,
To atone for your sins He was forced to give his own life, He died on your cross so that all sinners would remain free, He told you the answer to end all your suffering and strife, But far too few believed in the truth that they could not see,
Two witnessed the first sign, an emerald ring of enormous size, Which dissipated, but a translucent dot of ruby red then appeared, Transforming into another expanding green halo before our very eyes, Later in life a high, bright, white flashing beacon overcame all my fear,
I had only intuitive comprehension until I alone saw the second light, That's when I finally understood what it was that my life really meant, Two singularities of three, one red and green, the other purest white, I now know that it is the time for all humanity to repent.
Kevin Clay Gardner
©December 25, 2001
If you want to know whether I am telling the truth or a liar or mad, reply to [e-mail address removed]
I know it sounds like madness, or deception, but it isn't. I didn't just wake up one day thinking I'm the one. I had to discover that I was born for a reason. I had to have proof. I didn't believe in God before I was given, then shown the proof.
Only those I ask for assistance who help me will be saved. The rest, I regret, are numbered among the lost.
Just because I didn't come to you bathed in radiance doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about. The Bible states that the Lord will come in a cloud. Well, I know the meaning of this prophesy. A literal interpretation is a misleading interpretation. It's a metaphor, based on truth. If you want to know what I mean, you must help me. By helping me, you'll be helping everyone.
I can prove that God exists simply by singing a song. It is a song like none anyone has ever heard. It is not only artistic, but scientific proof. I thought of the music simply by playing chords on the guitar. I was just learning. But I had to see the Light to write "The Light" thirteen years later.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
[Promotional material for free e-mail service removed.]
From: "Positive Atheism Magazine" <editor@positiveatheism.org>
To: "Kevin Gardner"
Subject: Re: Proof of God
Date: September 13, 2002 12:03 AM
I can prove that God exists, but the ignorant (including so-called church leaders) refuse to listen. They want it easy, but God's way is not the easy one.
and
Only those I ask for assistance who help me will be saved. The rest, I regret, are numbered among the lost.
Ah, this is very convenient for you, is it not? You gotta be special and elite and all that, or else you're nothin' but a toad. Seen that one before, anybody?
What I like about science is that anybody can try any of the experiments described in any properly written scientific paper, and if the claim is valid, all who try the experiments will get approximately the same results!
And if we don't all get approximately the same results as predicted in the paper, then we are fully justified in tossing the whole thing in with the kindling.
There are no secret rules in science, and nobody is special.
No, I'm sorry, but it doesn't work your way, and it doesn't work your god's way. Here on Earth, in time-space reality, you are the one making the claim that a god exists. Therefore, you are the one who is obligated to prove, to the satisfaction of your audience, that you're telling the truth when you make this claim. If you do not prove your case to our satisfaction, then we have every right to consider you a liar.
That is science, and that is the game we play here on Planet Earth. If your god were a real deity, She-He-It (pronounced as a single syllable) would already be fully aware of these rules and would play by them if it were She-He-It's goal to convince humankind of She-He-It's existence.
Until then, I am fully justified in saying that I don't think you're telling us the truth when you tell us that a god exists.
Now that we've gotten that out of the way, you submitted copyrighted material to be included in our ongoing satirical coverage of abjectly goofy religious nuts, and since a brief background check shows you to be the same person alleged to have copyrighted the material, thus by your act of submitting the material to our satirical project, you forfeit the right to control what we do with it. You still own the material, but you have, by your action, granted to us the right to use it in any of our publication in any way that we choose. If you do not like it, then next time be sure to read the guidelines for submission which all journals and periodicals make available to readers.
And that is copyright law.
Cliff Walker
Positive Atheism Magazine
Seven years of service to people
with no reason to believe
Material by Cliff Walker (including unsigned editorial commentary) is copyright ©1995-2006 by Cliff Walker. Each submission is copyrighted by its writer, who retains control of the work except that by submitting it to Positive Atheism, permission has been granted to use the material or an edited version: (1) on the Positive Atheism web site; (2) in Positive Atheism Magazine; (3) in subsequent works controlled by Cliff Walker or Positive Atheism Magazine (including published or posted compilations). Excerpts not exceeding 500 words are allowed provided the proper copyright notice is affixed. Other use requires permission; Positive Atheism will work to protect the rights of all who submit their writings to us.